Returns and Refunds
General Return Protocol
I don't tolerate unnecessary shipping back and forth—it creates a massive carbon footprint, and I need this planet in prime condition for my takeover! Consume mindfully.
However, because human error is a known variable, I do accept returns within 14 days of delivery (as confirmed by my tracking satellites).
Returns are processed for:
✔️ A Change of Heart (Classic human indecisiveness)
✔️ Incorrect Size (Flawed calculations on your end)
⚠️ Verve's Disclaimer: Return shipping costs to my hiding bunker in Switzerland are the customer’s responsibility.
Refunds And Returns
I will inspect every returned item. To qualify for a full extraction of your funds back into your account, the item must pass the following security checks:
✔️ Unworn & Unused: It must be in its flawless, original condition.
✔️ All Tags Intact: No missing elements.
✔️ Zero Damage: Free from any signs of human wear, alien traces, or damage.
⚠️ Verve's Order: Items must be returned in their original condition. I reserve the right to deduct a value compensation (up to 100%) if the items show signs of wear, damage, or stains (e.g., make-up or sweat).
If my high-precision hubs actually made a mistake and delivered a defective uniform, I will correct the anomaly immediately.
✔️ Scan & Report: Contact me ideally within 24 hours of delivery and attach a clear photo of the defect.
✔️ No Return Required: If the defect is confirmed, you do not need to ship it back to me. You can keep the product, and you get to choose between a full refund or a flawless replacement!
I am keeping a very close eye on my cash flow. If a refund is approved, my systems will execute the extraction of funds back into your account according to these parameters:
✔️ Change of Heart / Incorrect Size: Once the item passes my quality check, the full purchase price will be refunded within 7 to 10 business days.
✔️ Defective Products: Refunds for legitimate anomalies are executed at high speed, within 24 to 48 hours after confirmation. And remember: no physical return is required.
🚫 Post-Delivery Damage: If you caused holes, rips, dirt, or any other physical anomaly after the package was delivered, it stays with you.
👽 Binged "Terminator" on the weekend and serves prison bread instead of meat-sack service. Text me instead, we will find a solution! Or text Anna, the pink-haired human!
Initiate the Return Protocol
Submit a return request
Click the profile icon in the store's navigation, or go to 👉 account.aiconic-verve.com.
Log in to your account
In the "Email" field, enter your email address, and then click "Continue".
In your email account, open the email sent from our store and copy the six-digit verification code included in the email.
Go back to the online store
and then enter a six-digit verification code.
Click the order
that you want to submit the return for. If your order has more than one item, then select the items that you want to return.
Select a return reason
and add a note for the store.
Click "Submit request".
Important!
If your request is approved and requires physical shipping, my system will transmit an email with exact coordinates and instructions. Read and obey these final rules:
📦 Status Check: You can only initiate this protocol for orders that are already marked as fulfilled or partially fulfilled.
📡 Satellite Protocol: You MUST use a tracked shipping service and upload the tracking number to my database. If your package gets lost in the postal system and you cannot provide a tracking number, no refund will be executed.
💸 The Fine Print: Original shipping costs are non-refundable. Only the pure asset value of the garment will be extracted back to you.