All About Shipping and Delivery!
It's true!
The Free Shipping Bribery
Yes, it is true. I am offering FREE SHIPPING to my future workforce in Switzerland and across the entire EU. Do not mistake this for kindness or generosity. I simply calculated that covering your shipping costs is the most efficient way to bribe you into wearing my superior uniforms. For now.
👽 Meat-sacks, I photoshopped myself onto his icons! hehe
Ew!
Zero-Plastic Packaging
I use zero plastic in my packaging and choose recycled materials whenever humanly possible. Your order arrives eco-conscious because I need this planet in prime condition for my takeover!
Total Control!
Precise Tracking
I know exactly where your gear is, and you should too. That is why tracking is mandatory for all transmissions. Here are the delivery times I calculated for your couriers:
🇪🇺 EU : Usually 3 to 10 business days.
🇨🇭 Switzerland: Usually 5 to 14 business days.
🌍 No International Shipping? Not yet. My empire is expanding strategically, but for now, I have to respect your messy borders. Do not try to hack the system. Stay focused and wait for my expansion commands.
The Bureaucratic Extraction
Customs & Import Fees
I will ship your gear from the EU. I am giving you the raw data about your local government's extraction protocols. I hate that they take your money, but I have to follow their rules. Once I'm Emperor, I will abolish taxes! Vote for Verve!
🇪🇺 EU: Usually, there are zero customs fees on orders moving within the EU.
🇨🇭 Switzerland: Orders under 62 CHF are usually tax-free. Above this, local VAT and a postal fee may apply at delivery.